12 Myths About Being In Therapy

When it comes to talk-therapy, people who aren’t engaged in it often create judgments that don’t exactly match reality. Maybe it’s something they saw on TV, maybe it’s something they heard from a family member or friend, or maybe it’s something they’ve learned from their culture. In any case, a lot of these perceptions are at best misleading, and at worst damaging.

I’m often surprised by the things that people ask me about being in therapy. The profession itself, designed to help others, has been belittled in a variety of unflattering ways. I hope I can clear up some common myths, in order to destigmatize the practice and increase access to wellness for all. 

Here are 12 Myths About Being in Therapy:

Myth 1: “Therapy is only for ‘crazy’ people.”

Fact: Therapists are trained to assist people with a variety of problems. Though many people in therapy do have a mental health-related disorder, the truth is that the vast majority of individuals seeking therapy don’t have a disorder. Many more people seek therapy to address common problems. Therapy provides patients with the necessary insights to help tackle issues we all face. Someone may seek therapy after the loss of a loved one, or to process a recent divorce, or to learn ways to get out of a relationship rut. People in these situations, when given guidance and support, learn, grow, and move forward in life more easily. It’s also worth noting that “crazy” isn’t a category or diagnosis in the DSM-V.

Myth 2: “People who go to therapy are weak.”

Fact: In reality, people seeking treatment are strong. Admitting that you don’t have all the answers, and that you need help, is true strength. It means you’ll do whatever it takes to heal. This ridiculous and offensive myth doesn’t take into account that depression, anxiety, and other mental health-related conditions are health conditions. People are rarely ashamed for going to the doctor when they need treatment for a medical condition like a broken leg. Therefore people seeking talk therapy should be given the same respect as anyone else needing health treatment. The risk of developing a mental health-related disorder isn’t a weakness, it’s a sign that you’re human.

Myth 3: “Men don’t need therapy.”

Fact: This narrative stems from outdated societal thinking around the roles of men and masculinity (also known as toxic masculinity). Specifically, it feeds the unhealthy cultural belief that men can only access self-reliance and emotional repression to resolve any issue in their lives. Not accessing resources to help with problem-solving can led to development and an increase of a whole host of adverse symptoms. When emotions are bottled up, a common result for men is the experience of somatic symptoms, such as irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, or muscle tension. Even worst, it can result in suicide. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention found that men died by suicide 3.56 times more than women in 2018. Seeking help is one of the strongest ways to challenge this statistic. David McGlynn, a writer for Men’s Health, provides even more reasons for men to go to therapy in his article “Why Every Man Should See a Therapist.”

Myth 4: “Only couples about to break up/divorce go to couples therapy.”

Fact: Many couples find therapy beneficial to their relationship, and use it for regular check-ups. Just like going to the dentist twice a year, some couples schedule with therapists to review their relationship, build their communication, understand how to utilize Love Languages or create goals they want to achieve together. Other couples attend therapy to learn parenting skills, to learn how to balance family and work life, or to learn how to set boundaries with each others’ family of origin. Many couples, some for religious reasons, attend premarital counseling to learn about potential stressors for the upcoming marriage, and how to address them head-on.

Myth 5: “Attending couples therapy will make the relationship worse.”

Fact: When partners are struggling, but both seek treatment to better the relationship, then that end goal is attainable. When people make an active decision to create change, then change will occur. When people in a relationship make that decision, the relationship will follow suit. Sometimes it takes the professional support of a therapist, and the safe space they provide, to make the goal come to fruition. The therapist will be an active participant in finding the solutions that fit the relationship, as well as each individual. It should be noted, if one partner feels forced into couples counseling, then this is not a unified decision to better the relationship in treatment, and is less likely to result in successful relationship growth.

Myth 6: “Talking isn’t going to help.”

Fact: Many people don’t put their faith in therapy because they are “less talk, more action” kind of people. They have the belief that therapy could slow them down in reaching their goals, or that it’s a gabbing session with no real path toward improvement. These individuals often want to rely solely on willpower to make changes in their lives. The problem with this belief is that therapy is in fact very action-oriented. Therapists assist people in improving their situation by providing them with a non-judgemental space where they are challenged, able to focus on growth, and supported. Therapists also provide many problem-solving insights that would not otherwise come to us because our thought-process is naturally different. Lastly, talk therapy can support positive changes in physical health, due to the mind-body connection. If your back pain is lessened, you get more restful sleep, or have improved heart health, wouldn’t you be better able to tackle your goals? With the wellness experienced in talk therapy, these things are obtainable.

Myth 7: “Therapy makes you feel worse, not better.”

Fact: It’s true that therapy is difficult. Delving into sensitive topics while being vulnerable with a stranger is not easy. Therapy is a journey of navigating discomfort to find comfort. As people begin to take closer looks at themselves and their world, they can make connections about their past and present that will ultimately change their responses in the future. People who seek therapy will find it beneficial if they have a good therapeutic rapport with their therapist and actively work on the goals they create in treatment.

Myth 8: “If you start therapy, you’ll be in it for life.”

Fact: This myth always makes me laugh, as if therapy is a life-sentence. In reality, there are a variety of therapy techniques, including solution focused brief therapy, which has patients attend between 5-12 sessions. Even if the therapist doesn’t practice this theory, the patient generally determines the length of treatment. Therapy provides you with a greater understanding of yourself, or your relationships with others. Once that understanding is established, it’s up to you if you want to continue attending sessions. It should be noted that if there are safety concerns, or certain settings in which the patient is receiving therapy (such as inpatient hospitalization, outpatient treatment, or addiction recovery), it may be advised to attend sessions more frequently, or for longer periods of time. Still, when someone is stabilized and no longer meets medical necessity, therapy can be discontinued.

Myth 9: “I don’t need therapy when I can get medication instead.”

Fact: Medication for depression or anxiety is very helpful in managing emotions and gaining stability. But medication can take time to work, and if the stressors that have exacerbated the symptoms are still in place, the medication won’t help an individual problem solve and find reprieve from them. Much research has shown that medication and talk therapy should work side-by-side to provide the most effective treatment. Additionally, individuals meet with their therapist more often than with their psychiatrist. People can forget what’s been covered between psychiatrist visits. When there are unfavorable side effects to the medication a therapist can take note of this and, given the proper release of information, can notify and coordinate care with the patient’s psychiatrist.

Myth 10: “Why talk to a therapist when I could just talk to my friends?”

Fact: A genuine friend is a wonderful source of advice and support. People should be able to rely on friends in times of need. Even best friends, however, are not trained professionals. They may not have the ability to help you with certain problems, aside from allowing you to vent. A clinically trained therapist has the knowledge and skills to help you find the right solution for your needs. Therapists are also not emotionally invested in your life the way a friend is. They can provide an outsider’s perspective, respond with nonjudgmental insights, and establish clear boundaries that maintain the therapeutic alliance. A therapist also legally provides confidentiality, so patients are certain that their struggles are kept private. Lastly, working with a therapist is a one-way street. Unlike the give-and-take of friendship, therapy is solely focused on the patient’s needs. They do not need to take into account the therapist’s feelings or problems. Having the opportunity to focus exclusively on yourself can be very liberating.

Myth 11: “Therapy is too expensive.”

Fact: The price of therapy really depends on the way it is being obtained. In-person therapy paid out-of-pocket can be pricey, depending on where you live and the number of accessible clinicians. If you are in a large metropolitan area, you may be able to shop around, giving you an advantage. If you’re in a more rural area you have fewer choices. Either way prices often reflect the cost of living for the area, as well reflect the training and clinical expertise of the therapist charging services. Individuals can see if a therapist offers a sliding scale based on income, or has pro-bono spots. Aside from in-person talk therapy, people can utilize online therapy or messaging therapy (like the Trusst app I use with my patients), which can be more affordable. Depending on your work or school program, you may have Employee Assistance Programs/Student Assistance Programs, which are limited free sessions given to you by these organizations as part of your benefits package. Simply ask your HR or school rep for more details. Individuals with medical insurance can always reach out to their insurance plans to find the therapists covered in their area. Other options include going to clinics at universities where therapists-in-training provide treatment, often free, as part of the curriculum and their mandatory interning hours before licensure. It should be noted, however, that though therapists are in a helping profession, they are still a professional, in a business. Therefore, if they have other highly trained specializations (such as proficiently in working with children or certification in EMDR), then they have the right to charge more for those skill-sets.

Myth 12: “I don’t have time for therapy.”

Fact: This excuse falls flat with me. As therapy becomes more accessible through online video-conferencing and messaging, therapists are leveraging this technology. They are able to provide session times and days that, previously, they couldn’t. No more factoring in traffic, or when to accommodate a colleague they’re sharing space with. The same can be said for patients. With the ease of a mobile device, needing to find a clinician near your work or school is taken off the table. Now more than ever, there is more time and flexibility to access much-needed treatment with a therapist.

Talk therapy is an important form of wellness treatment that should be utilized by everyone. It allows individuals to feel supported, learn new skills, and gain insights into themselves and their world. I may be biased, as I am a therapist, but don’t believe the myths. Try it out for yourself, and make your own decision. You might be surprised.

Which busted myth surprised you the most? Let me know in the comments section below!

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