How to Support Someone Affected by the LA Fires

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Written By Ariel Landrum, LMFT, ATR

Living Through the Fires in Los Angeles

As a therapist living and working in Los Angeles, I’ve seen firsthand the devastation caused by the recent wildfires. Between January 7 and January 18, 2025, multiple fires—including the Palisades, Eaton, Hurst, Lidia, Sunset, and Kenneth Fires—tore through LA County. These fires collectively burned over 40,000 acres, destroyed more than 12,000 structures, and claimed at least 27 lives. Entire neighborhoods, from Pacific Palisades to Sylmar, were transformed, displacing over 200,000 residents and leaving thousands grappling with loss, fear, and uncertainty.

With a population of nearly 10 million, Los Angeles County is larger than 40 U.S. states by population size. For example, Los Angeles County has more residents than entire states like Kentucky, Oregon, or Mississippi. This immense density means the wildfires' impact rippled far beyond the flames, touching individuals, families, and entire communities. Amid this crisis, residents experienced fear and panic, rushing to evacuate or prepare for worsening conditions. Apps like Watch Duty saw a significant download surge as people sought accurate, real-time information about fire locations and evacuation orders. Unfortunately, misinformation spread rapidly, adding to the anxiety. Meanwhile, reports of looting in evacuated areas only deepened the sense of vulnerability for many residents.

As I’ve supported clients navigating the aftermath—some who have lost homes, others who evacuated, and many more feeling the weight of collective grief—one recurring theme has emerged: the sense of helplessness that arises when you want to help but don’t know how.

For those directly affected, this helplessness is compounded by practical challenges: navigating insurance claims, finding temporary housing, and rebuilding a sense of normalcy. For those further away, it’s easy to feel uncertain about how to be present or offer meaningful support. This article aims to bridge that gap by providing practical, actionable ways to help someone affected by the fires while normalizing the complex emotions you may feel.

The Emotional Weight of Community Trauma

Disasters like the LA fires create ripple effects of trauma and grief that extend beyond the immediate losses. Whether you’ve been directly affected or are witnessing the devastation from a distance, it’s important to understand and normalize the complex emotions that can arise.

Grief and Loss Take Many Forms

Grief isn’t limited to losing a loved one. The fires have brought different types of loss for individuals and communities:

  • Material loss: For many, their homes, belongings, and cherished mementos have been reduced to ashes. A family sifting through debris, hoping to recover a wedding album or a child’s artwork, represents the profound emotional weight of these losses.

  • Loss of stability: Displacement has uprooted routines. Children forced to attend school remotely from temporary housing or families separated during evacuations face ongoing stress as they try to rebuild a sense of normalcy.

  • Collective grief: Watching familiar landmarks, parks, or neighborhoods disappear can feel like losing a part of yourself. In Los Angeles, where communities often gather in shared spaces, the loss of these places deepens the sense of disconnection.

Community Trauma: The Ripple Effects of Loss

Even if you’re physically safe, the destruction of shared spaces—parks, community centers, schools, and places of worship—can leave a community grappling with a collective sense of loss. These places often serve as the heart of a neighborhood, where people gather to celebrate milestones, build relationships, and find a sense of belonging. When they’re lost to a disaster like a wildfire, it can feel as though the community itself has fractured.

For example, families in Los Angeles who once relied on a local park for picnics and sports may now face the reality of it being a burned and desolate area, with no immediate plans for restoration. Schools that served as evacuation shelters may temporarily displace students as they recover, further disrupting daily routines.

Community spaces often affirm our own identities. These shared spaces in a diverse city like Los Angeles embody cultural identities, Angeleno histories, and individual personal identities. Losing a historic site can feel like losing a part of one’s heritage. The recent Eaton Fire, for instance, has profoundly impacted Altadena, a historic Black neighborhood in Los Angeles County. Established as a haven for Black families during the Great Migration, Altadena became one of the first middle-class African American neighborhoods in the area. The fire has devastated this community, destroying numerous homes and landmarks. Residents now face the dual challenges of rebuilding and preserving their cultural heritage. Additionally, there is a pressing concern that the aftermath of the fire could lead to gentrification, potentially displacing long-standing Black and minority residents.

In the context of community trauma, the loss of such culturally significant neighborhoods underscores the deep emotional and cultural impact disasters can have. Rebuilding efforts in areas like Altadena are not just about reconstructing physical structures but also about restoring and preserving the rich cultural identities that define these communities. Supporting initiatives that prioritize equitable rebuilding and protect against displacement is crucial in maintaining the historical and cultural fabric of such neighborhoods.

The Fear of Losing Someone Else

Trauma often includes fear for loved ones’ safety. Parents worry about their children’s safety during evacuations, pet owners grieve for animals left behind, and spouses of first responders live with the fear that their loved ones might not come home. Trauma doesn’t always stem from direct danger; it can also come from the emotional toll of fearing for someone else’s life. This fear is valid and can leave a lasting emotional imprint.

Secondary Trauma (or Vicarious Trauma)

Even if you weren’t directly affected, simply witnessing the suffering of others or hearing their stories can create what clinicians often call vicarious trauma. This happens when exposure to someone else’s distress begins to impact your own emotional well-being. Watching a neighbor sift through rubble, scrolling through endless news coverage, or hearing about a friend’s evacuation can evoke feelings of helplessness, sadness, or even survivor’s guilt. These reactions are valid and normal responses to extraordinary situations.

Recognizing the Emotional Toll on First Responders and Journalists

While first responders and journalists are often seen as strong and resilient, their exposure to trauma is ongoing and intense. Firefighters, paramedics, and law enforcement officers witness the physical and emotional devastation caused by wildfires daily, working long hours under extreme stress to save lives and property. Meanwhile, journalists and news anchors cover these crises in real-time, relaying heartbreaking stories and images to the public, including their own loss. Both groups often suppress their emotions to stay focused on their work, which can lead to long-term mental health challenges, including vicarious trauma or burnout.

You can support these groups by contributing to organizations that provide mental health resources and wellness programs. For instance:

  • The National Fallen Firefighters Foundation offers peer support and resources for firefighters dealing with emotional trauma.

  • The Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma provides training and support for journalists covering traumatic events.

  • Badge of Life is a nonprofit focused on mental health support for police officers, including resources for post-traumatic stress and suicide prevention.

  • Military OneSource is a free service that offers confidential counseling, financial assistance, and other support to military members, including National Guard personnel, and their families.

  • The Code Green Campaign Focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention for first responders. It offers peer support, resources, and advocacy for policy changes to better support mental health in emergency services.

Additionally, a simple note of gratitude or acknowledgment can mean a great deal. Writing a thank-you letter to a local fire station or sharing positive feedback on a journalist's coverage can remind them that their efforts are appreciated and noticed.

Recognizing vicarious trauma doesn’t minimize the suffering of those directly impacted—it acknowledges the ripple effects that disasters like this can have on everyone involved. If you notice these feelings affecting your daily life, it’s important to seek support, whether by talking to a trusted person, a therapist, or even participating in a support group for those who feel similarly.

Shame, Helplessness, and Weaponized Gratitude

You may feel a sense of helplessness or guilt, especially if you’re safe while others are suffering. It’s common to hear phrases like, “Be grateful you weren’t affected,” but this kind of “weaponized gratitude” can activate shame. Gratitude should never invalidate your emotions or empathy for others.

To manage these feelings:

  • Reframe your gratitude as a source of empowerment: “I’m safe, so I can support others in recovery.”

  • Set boundaries when someone minimizes your emotions: “I appreciate your perspective, and I am allowed to acknowledge that this has been hard for me, too.”

  • Take action: Channel your helplessness into acts of kindness, such as donating, volunteering, or offering emotional support to those in need.

Turning Coping into Action

Learning To Cope

Before you can effectively support others, it’s important to reflect on your own emotional state and understand your capacity to help. Whether you’ve been directly impacted, are experiencing vicarious trauma, or feel the weight of community trauma while being physically safe, coping is an essential first step.

1. For Those Directly Impacted

If you’ve experienced personal losses—whether it’s your home, belongings, or sense of stability—it’s crucial to prioritize your immediate needs while allowing yourself space to grieve. Moving forward might look like:

  • Acknowledging your feelings: Journaling or talking to a trusted friend or therapist about your experiences.

  • Rebuilding routines: Even small, consistent routines like a morning walk or cooking a favorite meal can help restore a sense of normalcy.

  • Seeking community support: Joining support groups or attending community events can help you process your grief with others who understand. They are also a place to obtain more resources and create action plans, which may be hard to do when suffering immense loss.

2. For Those Experiencing Vicarious Trauma

If you’ve witnessed the devastation from afar, heard loved ones’ stories, or followed the constant news updates, you may feel emotionally drained, helpless, or even guilty for being safe. To cope with these feelings:

  • Set boundaries with media: Limit your exposure to news and social media coverage if it’s overwhelming.

  • Channel your empathy into action: Reframe feelings of helplessness by contributing to relief efforts, such as donating, volunteering, or sharing resources.

  • Talk to someone: Vicarious trauma is valid and worth addressing. A therapist, support group, or close friend can help you process these feelings.

3. For Those Impacted by Community Trauma

Even if you’re physically safe, witnessing your community endure loss can feel deeply unsettling. The destruction of familiar places and routines can create a sense of disconnection. Moving forward might involve:

  • Honoring what was lost: Acknowledge the significance of destroyed landmarks or spaces and find ways to commemorate them.

  • Rebuilding community: Find ways to reconnect with your neighbors, such as organizing local events or volunteering.

  • Advocating for systemic change: Channel your energy into pushing for policies that address disaster preparedness and recovery.

Supporting Others in Coping

Once you’ve worked through your own thoughts and feelings, you’ll be better prepared to provide direct help, aid, and support to others. Consider your capacity and boundaries when offering assistance—whether it’s emotional support, logistical help, or financial contributions. Some forms of help, like organizing documents or helping clean up, may only be needed once. Others, like emotional support or regular check-ins, require ongoing commitment. Be honest about what you can provide to avoid burnout.

As you continue reading, you’ll find a list of curated resources at the end of this article to support your next steps.

Here are some practical ways to help:

The Power of Financial Support

In the aftermath of the Los Angeles wildfires, financial contributions have proven to be the most effective way to support those affected. As highlighted by the New York Times, while the intention behind donating physical items like clothing is generous, it can sometimes lead to logistical challenges and mismatches between donations and actual needs. Monetary donations and gift cards empower survivors to purchase exactly what they require.

  • Donate to Verified Campaigns: Platforms like GoFundMe have raised over $100 million for wildfire victims, supporting families, communities, and nonprofits such as World Central Kitchen and Direct Relief. You can even Venmo or Zelle your loved ones directly.

  • Support Local Organizations: Contributing to local entities like the Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation, California Fire Foundation, and Los Angeles Regional Food Bank ensures that aid reaches those who need it most. These organizations provide essential services, from firefighting efforts to supplying food and medical care. Food banks particularly have been an increase in donations, however, still need money to be able to buy necessary but missing items (like perishables), as well as fund their operations.

  • Gifting Gift Cards: If you’re uncertain about giving cash, gift cards are a great alternative. They allow survivors to shop for exactly what they need—whether it’s groceries, clothing, or household items—ensuring their specific preferences and sizes are met. Gift cards for grocery stores, big-box retailers, and even online shops like Amazon can be invaluable, particularly for those needing specialty items, such as plus-size clothing, bras in a unique size, feminine hygiene products, replacing medical devices or obtaining medical supplies, or culturally specific foods.

Be Present and Proactive

In the wake of disaster, people often hear well-meaning but vague offers like, “Let me know if you need anything.” While these sentiments come from a place of care, they can unintentionally put the burden on survivors to identify help and ask for it—something that’s often difficult when they’re already overwhelmed. Instead, proactive and specific offers of support can make a world of difference, whether you’re nearby or far away.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s important to first understand your own capacity to help. Consider whether you can offer an empathetic ear, practical assistance, or both. By being clear about your availability and boundaries, you can ensure your support is sustainable and meaningful.

How to Be Present:

  • Offer Specific Help: Instead of waiting for someone to ask, make clear, actionable suggestions:

    • “I’m free this Friday; I can help you with errands or paperwork.”

    • “I’m going to grab groceries for you this week. Does anyone in the household have dietary restrictions?”

    • “I’m available to take care of laundry or yard work—what do you need done first?”

    • “If you need to stay somewhere temporarily, I can host for a few nights or help you find a safe place.”

  • Schedule a Call: If you’re not in the area, let them know when you’re available to connect:

    • “I’ll text you Wednesday morning to check in.”

    • “Let’s set a time to talk this weekend so I can hear how you’re doing.”

    • “I’m free after 6 PM on Tuesday—does that work for a quick chat?”

  • Help Prioritize Needs: Survivors may struggle to organize tasks or focus on what’s most urgent. Offer a guiding hand:

    • “What’s been the hardest to manage this week? I can help you brainstorm how to tackle it.”

    • “Let’s write down what’s on your plate and tackle one thing together.”

    • “I noticed you mentioned needing to clean up—would it be helpful if I came by with some supplies and helped you get started?”

    • “Have you been able to find a routine that works? I can help with things like school pickups, pet care, or errands to ease the load.”

  • Use Technology Thoughtfully: Apps like DoorDash, Instacart, or Venmo make it easy to send direct help. For example:

    • “I know your family likes pepperoni pizza—would it be better to have it delivered on Friday or Saturday?”

    • “I’ve set up a meal delivery for you this week—no need to think about cooking for a few days.”

    • “I’m sending you $50 through Venmo to use for anything you need—no strings attached.”

    • “Would it help if I arranged a ride for you to appointments or errands this week?”

Cultural Sensitivity:

In collectivist cultures—such as many found within the diverse communities of Los Angeles—help and support are often viewed through the lens of shared responsibility. In these cultures, asking for help may feel uncomfortable or even shameful, as it can be perceived as burdening others. To navigate this with sensitivity, consider framing your offers of support in a way that emphasizes mutual care and community strength.

For example, instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," you could say:

  • “I need to contribute to rebuilding, no matter how big or small. Today I can drop off groceries or a meal. What time can I stop by.”

  • “Our neighborhood group is organizing a cleanup day—would you like to join, or can we support you by tidying your yard?”

  • “I noticed the kids love the park, and I’m already heading there with my family. Would you like to join us for a playdate?”

Community-based approaches often feel more natural and less like charity. For instance, organizing a group to help with debris cleanup or hosting a shared meal for displaced families can foster connection while addressing practical needs. Similarly, culturally specific practices—like sharing food, offering prayers, or organizing community rituals—can provide comfort and help restore a sense of belonging.

Acknowledging these nuances ensures that your support feels respectful and meaningful. Working within cultural frameworks, you can help survivors feel empowered and connected rather than vulnerable or dependent.

Why This Matters

By anticipating needs, removing decision-making burdens, and tailoring your approach to fit the person’s cultural context, you relieve some of the mental and emotional load survivors are carrying. Proactive and thoughtful support shows care and respect for their dignity and autonomy during a difficult time.

Hands-On Support

You know you have the capacity and are close by to provide direct aid, but you’re unsure where to start. Survivors often face overwhelming to-do lists, emotional exhaustion, and disrupted routines, making it hard for them to ask for help. Here are some practical ways to step in and provide meaningful support:

Help with Logistics

  • Assist with Insurance Claims and Documentation: Offer to help sort through paperwork, fill out forms, or contact insurance companies to navigate claims processes.

  • Compile Resource Lists: Research and gather information on local donation centers, temporary housing options, therapists offering sliding scale or free sessions, and community aid programs.

  • Make Calls on Their Behalf: Many survivors feel too overwhelmed to make calls. Offer to contact therapists, legal aid offices, or government agencies to ask about availability, costs, and requirements.

Offer Transportation

  • Help with Routines: Volunteer to pick up and drop off kids at school or daycare, especially for those navigating disrupted schedules.

  • Provide Rides: Take survivors to appointments, such as therapy, legal consultations, or housing agency visits. Even your presence in the waiting room can be emotional support while they handle these tasks.

  • Coordinate Outings: Take children or pets on an outing to give parents or guardians a chance to rest or focus on recovery tasks. Many places in LA are offering community gatherings for free as a space for support and, hopefully, community joy.

Household Cleanup

  • Assist with Debris Removal: Help remove debris, salvage personal belongings, or prepare the home for rebuilding efforts.

  • Organize Salvaged Items: Survivors often struggle to sort through what’s been saved and may need space to mourn lost or destroyed items. Offer to organize belongings or create an inventory of what remains or is salvaged, as well as create a list of items to mourn or create honor ceremonies to say goodbye to.

  • Provide Cleaning Supplies: Bring cleaning supplies, gloves, and masks to ensure the space is safe and ready for recovery work.

Accompany Them to Appointments

  • Offer Emotional Support: Whether it’s a pregnancy checkup, legal consultation, or therapy session, having someone by their side can ease anxiety and help them feel less alone.

  • Take Notes: Survivors might struggle to retain information during high-stress moments. Offer to take notes during appointments, so they have a clear record of what was discussed.

Support Displaced Families

  • Find Temporary Housing Options: Offer to research local shelters, extended-stay hotels, or community housing programs. Help them navigate applications and requirements.

  • Provide a Safe Space: If possible, open your home for a few nights or assist them in coordinating with friends or family who can provide temporary shelter.

Emotional Support

For those who are further away or unable to provide direct, hands-on assistance, offering emotional support is just as vital. Survivors often face emotional exhaustion, grief, and uncertainty, and having someone to lean on can make all the difference. If you have the emotional capacity to listen and offer encouragement, here’s how to show up meaningfully:

  • Listen Without Judgment: Survivors don’t need advice—they need someone to hear and validate their feelings. Use phrases like:

    • “This sounds so overwhelming. I’m here for you.”

    • “It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. You’ve been through so much.”

    • “I’m not here to fix it—I just want to support you.”

  • Check In Regularly: Recovery isn’t a linear process, and survivors may need consistent support over time. Small, frequent check-ins remind them they’re not alone:

    • “How are things feeling for you today? How heavy are the feelings and memories today?”

    • “How’s [pet’s name/child’s name/partner’s name] doing? Have they been adjusting okay?”

    • “I know it’s been a while since we talked. How are you holding up?”

  • Celebrate Small Milestones: Acknowledge progress, no matter how small, to help survivors feel seen and validated:

    • “I’m so glad to hear you’re settling into your temporary space.”

    • “You’ve done so much already—handling this paperwork is a huge step.”

    • “I’m proud of how you’re showing up for yourself through all of this.”

Amplify Awareness

If you cannot offer direct aid or ongoing emotional support, using your voice to amplify awareness is another impactful way to help. Sharing resources and advocating for systemic change can support recovery efforts far beyond your immediate circle.

  • Share Resources: Help spread the word about local and national organizations offering aid, donation centers, and support groups:

    • Post links to GoFundMe campaigns, food banks, and housing programs on social media.

    • Share information about free or low-cost mental health services available to survivors.

    • Let people know about community gatherings or events focused on recovery and healing.

  • Advocate for Systemic Change: Disasters like wildfires highlight the need for better prevention and recovery policies. Use your platform to support efforts that address these systemic issues:

    • Encourage your community to support policies for better wildfire prevention, equitable housing recovery efforts, and mental health funding.

    • Contact local representatives to advocate for improved disaster preparedness and response systems.

    • Support organizations working toward long-term solutions, like reforestation or sustainable land management practices.

  • Organize or Join Efforts: If you feel inspired to do more, you can organize your own small-scale initiatives:

    • Host a donation drive in your workplace or neighborhood.

    • Coordinate a virtual fundraiser or event to raise money for recovery efforts.

    • Join local volunteer groups working on rebuilding and cleanup efforts.

Why Emotional Support and Awareness Matter

Not everyone has the capacity to provide direct, hands-on aid, and that’s okay. Emotional support and advocacy are just as important. Survivors need to feel seen, heard, and supported, and communities need strong voices to amplify recovery efforts and push for long-term systemic change.

When you show up emotionally or use your platform to raise awareness, you’re playing a critical role in the healing process. Even small gestures—like listening without judgment or sharing resources—can ripple out to create meaningful change.

Moving Forward Together

In times of crisis, the power of community support cannot be overstated. Disasters like the recent wildfires remind us of our shared humanity and the strength that comes from standing together. Whether you’ve been directly affected or are supporting someone who has, remember that healing is a collective effort. It doesn’t take grand gestures to make a difference—small, thoughtful actions can create ripples of impact, offering comfort and hope in the face of overwhelming loss.

It’s natural to feel unsure about how to help, especially when the scale of devastation feels insurmountable. You may question whether your contributions are enough or worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. But the truth is, even the smallest effort matters. A kind word, a proactive offer of help, or simply being present for someone in need can provide a foundation for rebuilding.

As you think about how you can contribute, consider what feels sustainable for you. Offering support is not just about responding to immediate needs—it’s also about providing ongoing care as survivors navigate the long road to recovery. This might mean regular check-ins, helping someone re-establish routines, or advocating for systemic change that addresses the root causes of disasters. If you’re unsure where to start, begin with one act of kindness. A single moment of care can remind someone that they’re not alone.

At the end of this article, you’ll find a list of resources to support survivors and contribute to recovery efforts. From donation opportunities to mental health services, these resources are designed to guide you in taking meaningful action.

If you have additional ideas or know of other resources that could help, I encourage you to share them. Together, we can help rebuild lives, strengthen communities, and move forward with hope and resilience.

Resources:

Ariel Landrum, LMFT, ATR

Ariel is the Director of Guidance Teletherapy. She runs the day-to-day operations, and is one of our treating clinicians. She writes about mindfulness, coping skills, and navigating the private practice world.

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