9 Signs A Toxic Person Is Affecting Your Life

Sometimes Toxic People Are Unavoidable

Dealing with toxic people can be unavoidable sometimes. Whether it’s your aunt the constant complainer, your boss the perpetual cynic, or your friend, the forever pessimist.

Though you cannot control these individuals, you can control how you respond to them. When not in check, toxic people can negatively influence the way you think, feel, and behave. They can bring unnecessary stress and chaos in your life.

These are nine signs that a toxic person is affecting you:

1. You can’t help but talk about them, even when they’re not around.

Are you grumbling to coworkers about your rude boss? Or venting to your spouse about your self-absorbed relative? If you find you are talking about toxic people when they're not around, you’re starting to give them power over your life.

If you find yourself wanting to complain about the toxic person in your life, take a breath, and attempt to change the subject. The less space you provide them, the more space you will have for peace.

2. You allow yourself to dread anytime you know you will have to see them.

Dread is draining. If you find that you’re obsessing about an upcoming meeting you must attend with a toxic coworker, or a family reunion where a toxic relative may be, then you’ve allowed them to eat into your free time. 

Instead of hyper focusing on the fact that you will have to engage with them, focus on the other coworkers or relatives you’re excited to see. Remember that when you give time in your day to a toxic person, you’re allowing yourself to be robbed of potential moments of joy.

3. You find yourself losing your temper more quickly.

When you're dealing with a toxic person, they can stir up very strong emotions. If a toxic individual is getting the best of you, you will feel like you're not in control of your feelings. If you're not careful, you won’t be. Frustration can easily turn into rage. If you find that the very thought of a toxic person grinds your gears, then focus your attention and emotions on the things that bring you joy.

4. You don't set healthy boundaries.

You will quickly learn that a toxic person’s tactics can make it difficult to set healthy boundaries. You’ll be taken off-guard by a friend's harsh words or left speechless by your co-worker’s crass comments. Without healthy boundaries, it's impossible to protect yourself emotionally. If you find that a toxic person’s negative habits are increasing around you, this means that they‘re aware the boundaries aren’t firm. If you find you feel uncomfortable or shocked by the actions or comments of a toxic person, let them know that it is not okay. Setting firm boundaries will keep you safe and let them know that you shouldn’t be messed with.

5. You notice your self-esteem decreasing.

A common trait among toxic people is that they are rude. They favor degrading and insulting people, and you may find yourself one of their targets. You’ll notice their words getting to you when you start to believe them. Remember, your self-worth is up to you. Don’t allow others to dictate how you feel about yourself.

6. You make bad choices, yet you blame them.

If you fall prey to a toxic person's manipulation, you will be enticed to blame them for the negative choices you’re making. Once you begin to place blame for what's going on in your life on a toxic person, this is a crystal clear sign that they have too much power over you. Learn to accept personal responsibility for how, and with whom, you spend your time, and for how you react to situations.

7. You can’t beat them, so you join them.

You know a toxic person has taken over your life when you start to behave in a way that does not align with your values. Stooping to a toxic person's level isn't an effective coping strategy. Ultimately, it will only create more chaos in your life. Instead, continue to analyze your reactions. If they seem more like what a toxic person would do, reassess and find a new response.

8. You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

We all have unhealthy coping strategies that we gravitate toward. If you find that you’re resorting to quick fixes to help deal with stress because of a toxic individual, then they have infiltrated your healthy lifestyle. Remind yourself why these coping skills should be avoided. Attempt to learn new ones that are healthy if stopping them cold will be too difficult.

9. Your relationships suffer.

In order to release the tension brought on by a toxic person, you may displace it toward your loved ones. You might intentionally argue with your partner, or become easily agitated. This can cause serious damage, as it is affecting the relationships you care for. Before popping off, stop and think about your day. Did you have to deal with a toxic person? How fresh was the experience? Is the current level of your response to your loved one matched with the situation, or is it a far more extreme reaction? When you stop and analyze your behaviors, you’ll be able to tell whether your responses are authentic, or are tainted by a toxic person.

And Sometimes Toxic People Should Be Avoided

If you find that you are experiencing some or all of these nine signs, then it may be time to make a change. In some cases, it means being firm in refusing to waste time thinking about a toxic person. It may also mean increasing your support system by seeing a mental health professional, life coach, or spiritual leader. In more serious cases, it may result in you cutting a toxic person out of your life.

If you find a toxic person is causing you chaos that you’re unable to manage, then you may want to end ties. You have every right to live your life with balance and harmony.

How have you set boundaries with a toxic person? Tell me in the comments section below!

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